There was a time in our country when women were living in a wretched condition. The birth of a girl child in the family was an unfortunate thing. She was not allowed to study or go out rather would get married at very early age. Sati Pratha was another heinous custom that would come as a part and parcel with marriage. But there were people who took stand against these rubbish beliefs and put efforts to change the condition of women in society. Today things have totally changed. In today’s time women are at par with men be it education, knowledge or profession. Government is also working actively to make things better for them every day. There are n number of schemes, policies and laws to support women education, equality, health and wealth. Every other day we read in newspaper about a bright girl student who  has made her school/college and her parents proud by achieving extraordinary, a woman receiving best entrepreneur award or a female walking into space. But there is also a dingy side of it. As a Life Coach, I came across many such cases where women are still suffering in spite of ample policies and laws by government to support them. They are still being cheated and ill-treated. My question to all women is what could the law or government do unless and until you reach them for help. Women who come to me have different matters to discuss. Some are being exploited by husband and other family members or where one is in depression because she was cheated in the relationship she was. There are girls from educated and decent background who are not clear about their life purpose and if clear they are not putting enough efforts to reach their goals. After interacting with many females on different issues the one thing that I concluded is women themselves are responsible for their poor state because they lack courage to take step for their betterment, what they ask me is how to change my husband, in laws or change the things at work place without giving a thought to change themselves or raising a voice against injustice happening with them. They expect a black magic to happen to make things good for them. They need to understand that no law no policy no women helpline no coach can help them unless they decide to come out of it. People take you for granted if you allow them to mistreat you. Tell them when you do not like something.  Say ’No’ when you are not convinced about something. Learn to face your fears head on to overcome them. Dare to take first step towards your dreams.

 I have seen females from affluent families who spend lavishly on their dresses, make up, latest gadgets and parties. No one can even imagine how hollow they are inside. These outings, social gatherings and show off are just stress busters for them. They don’t realize that this stuff only gives them momentary pleasure. In spite of everyday reforms, more awareness, more acceptance and opportunities for women, this segment of our society is still suffering. And I believe that we can’t hold anyone else responsiblefor our plight. We have to take complete charge of our life if we seriously want to come out of our sufferings.

First we need to understand what is that which is creating the unpleasantness or restlessness in our life. Second, find out the probable causes of it and then ask yourself how much you are responsible for it? I know it’s not easy for anyone to blame him/herself but I suggest you to give yourself some time and find the answer to the question-“ How much I am responsible for my sufferings?” Believe me the solution to all your problems lies in this particular answer. Once you get your answer, think what can you do on your part to make things better for yourself? Make a list of all probable actions you might take and analyze them in terms of feasibility. Write down all action steps you can take to improve the present state and start working on them with immediate effect. I agree it needs courage to fight with your fears or raising your voice for the first time but remember there is always a first time for everything. And I assure you this one step will inculcate immense confidence in you and there will be no looking back after that. Remember, people can only advice you or sympathize with you but can’t fight for you. We all have to fight our battles on our own. I as a coach can motivate you, media can print lot of powerful material, you can read self-help books or listen devotional videos to combat your internal noise but this peace will not stay for long unless you implement those learning in your life.

 Yes! Enough of sufferings! Enough of holding back! Unleash the power within and lead your life.

 Unlock all the doors, open those closed windows, see the bright light around you, feel the warmth of sun, meet a NEW YOU and make a bold declaration to the universe that YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR DESTINY.

Solve the problem or leave the problem. Don’t live with the problem

(The author Ambika Goel is a Motivational Speaker and Life Coach)


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